Think About It

 

"If at All"
benjamin harubin 2021
electronic composite

Think About It

a shrine, a picture on the wall

when you pass, every day at a certain time

think about it 

it is whatever it is that's troubling you, my child

it is a nice, clear day

it is a more comprehensive thought than whatever it is that you are thinking about now

contemplate the context: a context warning, a context blessing, a survey of available resources

it is the World

it is the Ocean

it is the Universe

it is God

it is the Brain

it is your Brain

ok, go

Early Memory at the Spaceport

i have not posted here in a while.  these days, i'm posting on 

http://benjaminharubin.blogspot.com/

or http://neubelog.blogspot.com/ (where i hope to post more digital art soon).

a while back, people kept asking me to write a science fiction story, but i never did, but then i just found this thing in my drafts folder and i'm just going to put it here below.  fuck it.  enjoy. 

"Secret Underpinnings"
benjamin harubin 2021
collage in silico 

a recollection bordering on a dream.
magic images 
everything was so big
a bright bright blinding day
hot thick haze
and giant blocky bunker buildings and looming the dark tower
so hot everything yellow white burning hot
the endless concrete pad would burn you 
but we had our tent house and it was shady and cooler inside and we had a big lunch 
and all day we watched the rockets come down
bright blue white sparks
blinking in the hot sky
from a speck barely visible white spark on a white sky
then we all put shades on
and and the flame got so hot and big till that's all there was
 and a wind and a roar that shakes you and chatters your teeth
three or four of them
and a giant space pod cargo whale that made all the giant things look small
and then into the night
staying up late
and more fires came down

years later i went up
on the rocket jet liner
the spacehook grabbed us and yanked us up
it reeled us in and boosted us up to the OBILe asteroid fuel station and space truck stop
it felt like getting squashed smushed flat and shaken and dropped and kicked and the roar and the shaking screeching and thrown up and throwin up and 
floating nowhere spinning stars CLOSE YOUR EYES LOOK AWAY
but i got my head past the shade and my whole mind everything went out the window
and there were little tugs and gentle presses and the stars rolled and we pitched and then we yawed
we were swimming in space!

and then dropped again down 
pressed down down to the rock the big space rock rock arena space dock rock
the the big bowl crater filled with lights, every color light, blinking, glaring, moving patterns, cuttlefish moving lights, moving us in, bringing us down 
down to a dock bright lit blasted dock
down down a drop down a gentle boom thunk, clunk clunk locked down and a hiss and the fans blew and the lights switched on and the buckles unlocked and the bees all began buzzing and it was a different kind of shaking my head and it all became normal again for a little while and we climbed down but then down was up into the asteroid and we climbed up out of the ship and out of the floor of the rock and we were in the rock.

and then i was lost for three days in the tunnels and warrens of that strange rock-

that was before the war and the dirty spacers scattered and hid in the gre4t confusion the cosmos had become

(this was a war precipitated perhaps by a growing number of interrelated disruptive events.  these include first contact with an ETE, a major climatic shift 
and disruption caused by robotic/information technologies as well as the new physics engines.)
there was no robopocalypse or A.I. rebellion, nor could there ever be, for the division between meat and machine could never have been possible,
for we were all one with the information vibration ecosystem galactic fungus, 
but we didn't know that, though.

so that was the first time in space for me

that was before the robowars and the gre4t confusion and the life revelation in outer space


yes, life is in the galaxies like a densely packed coral reef.  we imagined that by going into space we could just go out there and colonize because where were they all?
but then we found that we were like the bacteria slime on tiny mite's ass on a shrimp in a sponge squished between corals and anemones and a thousand thousand busy busy bees.
we couldn't understand what was out there.  we couldn't see it, we couldn't be it.   life is the way, finds a way.  life finds a way in a thousand ways.  thousand thousand.  

Still in all, every night we does the tell who we was and where we came from...
  a great hierarchy of up.   

greater ordering up and up and down and down.  

magnificent machine, the living thing, the life of the universe.

what was i talking about?

right.  that's when we got the signals.  that's when we saw the signs, when the models cracked...


We of Mars didn't know you were crawling on our roof, till your spiderbots came, the third one you called Odysseus that crawled across our city that we heard on our roof, before any of you came in person, we would have known long before if you came in person anywhere on our planet, but the robots we didn't see for a long time, they were all in the blasted zone till you sent the spiderbots, while we lived up here in the buried zone where our cities got buried but we tunneled out, we tunneled down.