as promised: SPACE PORN! (Brief)

For years after his return, the Astronaut could not speak of the events that occurred after his ship's (the Dymaxion Intruder) black box indicated that it had docked with an unknown Vehicle.
Eventually, under the influence of hypnotic drugs, this story emerged:

The Astronaut was enticed to leave his ship and journey for an unknown period of time with beings who called themselves the Hwrinpycs (the Astronaut pronounced this using a strange, bird-like trilling.) Many descriptions of these beings were provided, each contradicting the other (tentacles were involved in only 7% of them.) He was then brought to a base or planet where there were many of these beings, and a large celebration/feast/festival took place, seemingly centered on the Astronaut's arrival.

Of the many fragmentary and bizarre recollections that emerged, here are two examples:

The Astronaut described himself as being the main course in this "feast" and experienced himself being dismembered and and consumed by thousands of Hwrinpycs. He describes endless journeys through alien digestive tracts, each with many unique events.

The Astronaut also told of a "religious ceremony" or "orgy" (which he describes in abundant detail of squid-like sex organs, multiple interpenetrations, bone-jarring "music" and elaborate costumes.)

It has been theorized that, because of a compromised sphincter, a large leakage of Computational Fluids (used as part of the interface of the Dymaxion Intruder's biocomputer) induced these "hallucinations." This fails to explain the time interval of the Astronaut's absence from the Intruder (which, according to the internal chronometer, is over 117 earth years!) Clearly, this was no Spacewalk.

Also, this time interval, when compared to the Astronaut's arrival back on Earth, indicates a violation of the Laws of Physics, even when all relativistic effects are computed.

The only plausible explanation, as far as I'm concerned, is that someone or something has produced an as yet unknown time travel or wormhole phenomenon.

I wish to thank the Astronaut for permission to peruse his as yet unpublished "Delight of the Intruder" used in preparation of this brief.
A further and more detailed analysis will be forthcoming in tomorrow's post.
(Yeah, right.)